Supporting men’s mental health with trauma, depression and anger

Riverina Counselling often supports men and their mental health, and we often get phone calls from concerned or worried family members or spouses being gravely concerned of men’s wellbeing. As explored in another post, men often experience higher rates of mental ill-health, suicide, relationship breakdowns and social isolation in rural and regional parts of Australia. Places such as Cowra and Young often have a cultural within the community, with aspects of intergenerational issues where mental health is not spoke about or may even be considered a sign of weakness.

This can lead to higher rates of depression in males, especially if they have had numerous experiences growing up and through their own parenting with trauma, domestic violence and poor relationships and role modelling growing up. This depression, however, can manifest in different ways and many men may not know they are depressed!

Due to how longstanding these issues can be, we will often aim to work with a male to understand how they came to be and what may have caused things to become the problems they are now facing. Many of these issues can be bother long term and be intergenerational. Taking time to first better understand why we act or say certain things and how our own states can drive and affect these can be useful. Many men can struggle with talking about emotions; however, this does not mean therapy will not be useful.

It can also be important for men if they have or are expecting a child! We often parent based on how we were, and even with all the efforts we make to do things differently can result in us repeating older patterns on how we were raised to be and what was modelled for up by our parents. This is why taking time to understand the reason we act or react certain ways or how something can quickly cause anger or withdrawal is the first road map to shifting things.

The other reason it is so important as it can act the needed circuit breaker to doing something new and different. Over time, we can change the way we have been, have better relationships and communication with our loved ones and children and potentially even be less reactive to the things that may have previously triggered it. This can change the intergenerational footprint moving forward and start new, healthier ways of being for those who are next, and remember this doesn’t just apply to parents. You could be an aunt, uncle or even a mentor or role model to someone who you do not realise who looks up to you.

Men who have transitioned to the city from the country can also find this a major challenge, as often the culture changes with the move, as the expectations of how to be. This can leave men feeling even m more lost and displaced, as we ultimately only have the blueprint we know to work from. This is the importance of reaching out and seeking support with anger, depression and trauma and it can be a challenge to do this alone.