Supporting men with anger and emotional issues

One common area I often get a lot of enquires about is supporting men who might be struggling with their anger, emotions and this then getting in the way of their relationships. I often get queries from all over Australia, from spouses or those who are concerned but unsure what to do and how to support them. This is the first area I discuss the need for the person with the concerns wanting to change themselves, and I always recommend a phone conversation ahead of any intake or booking so they can ask any questions and see if we might be a fit.

I also see a lot of these issues in regional and rural Australia, as a far into the Central West, as well as more isolated towns such as Wagga Wagga. In these areas, issues are often worsened by a lack of local support services, long wait times or not even having services at all! This is where telehealth is always a good option for those isolated or more regionally based.

Often, my work is focussed in helping men better get in touch or understanding their emotions, as growing up, these may not always be modelled well, emotions might have been pushed down or not spoken about or there may be stigma about showing vulnerability. This means we use a steady approach to not overwhelm but to learn to respond to our emotions in more productive and healthy ways. This may also include how we manage ourselves around others, how we choose to communicate (or not, in some cases!)        

Many men, on reflection, do not want their children to experience the same childhood they had. However, they often struggle to express emotions in healthy ways, or they suppress and avoid them through various coping strategies. Over time, this can contribute to issues such as anger outbursts and difficulty regulating frustration, which can affect relationships with children, partners and colleagues. I have also noticed that men in similar situations often group together. At times, this can intensify the issues, but it can also create powerful support networks and allies for change.

Supporting men to express their emotions, understand why they react as they do and to be able to consider emotions as safe is an overall aim of therapy, as well as really understand and the develop the person we want to be. Areas can also expand into couples work and much more.